Tuesday, March 6, 2018

How a Disability May Have Made Me A Better Photographer


A few weeks ago I was tasked with photographing a large group of employees for their company brochure. I’m talking about 150 people so trust me when I say that it required some doing. Try getting 150 people to stand still, to look at the camera and to stop fidgeting. It was difficult but as always we got it done. 

Fortunately, I had a couple of assistants herding the crowd into a tight group and literally herding the stragglers that kept getting lost. A thought occurred to me as we were setting up to take the shot. I yelled loudly over the cacophony of raucous voices, “DOES ANYONE HAVE PSE?!!” Now if you have it then you know what that acronym means. If you don’t recognize the acronym then you probably don’t have it or have never been diagnosed as having it. It stands for Photo Sensitive Epilepsy. I’m not a doctor and not trying to be but in short it often results in seizures triggered by exposure to flashing lights, stroboscopic effects, light patterns, lights at certain intensities, etc. You can read more about at https://www.epilepsy.com/learn/triggers-seizures/photosensitivity-and-seizures. Better yet, get more information about it by talking to your actual doctor if you think that you or someone you know is at risk. My understanding is that even driving at night can be risky for some with more sensitive triggers.

Again, I’m not doctor but something compelled me to ask the question. You see, I had a few very powerful studio strobes. I was wary as to whether or not they could light such a large group considering the challenging space I was working in. With such a large group, I was also aware that the chances of someone having some degree of PSE was very likely. One employee stepped forward and began walking towards me as the rest of the group was being directed into position. I was lowered down to speak with him (I was on a lift in the air getting ready for the shot at the time). He thanked me for asking and told me that he had PSE. It is not something he wanted to scream across the crowd. He had no reason to be embarrassed but sometimes things like that are private. I totally get that. In a low voice he told he could take some flash sequences short of stroboscopic if it wasn’t prolonged or directly in his eyes. I was totally surprised because in my many years of photography, I don’t run into people with PSE because people with PSE tend to avoid having their picture taken and for good reason. Yet, something made me ask this crowd before I got started. I really appreciated him coming forward and I told him as much.

I had a couple of choices at this point. I could reposition him to make sure he wasn’t directly in the epicenter of the flashes brightest point. I could also shoot slower and minimize the frequency of the flashes. Or I could simply see what the full frame sensor I had could do and take advantage of its high ISO sensor capabilities the manufacturer raves so endlessly about. This would allow me to theoretically photograph this crowd without the strobes. There were some risk of slightly lesser picture quality but according to the specs I could push this camera and still get a fantastic image; in theory of course. I gave this brave guy my decision and told him not to worry and that I would not be utilizing the strobes. He turned and looked over along the edge of the crowd to where the strobes were. I could tell he was hesitant to believe me. I just said, “trust me and you’ll be fine. They will not be engaged.” That must have done it. He gave me a reluctant, and yet an I believe you kind of smile and disappeared back into the crowd.

Why gamble? I didn’t want this employee feeling alienated for a condition he never asked for. He is as much a part of this group as anyone. I turned off the strobes' radio transmitter which was affixed atop the camera body. Then I removed the radio trigger from the camera altogether just to be sure there were no accidental transmissions that would trigger the strobes or me accidentally toggling it back on. I made some shutter speed adjustments, played with the white balance for the ambient light only and setup up for the first shot. Fortunately, that was about the time everyone appeared to be in place. Sure I had to yell (not belligerently but just so they could hear me), at a few people that were not in the frame to get tighter and join the rest of the group. Who did I notice in front and center of the group photo? Yep! It was the employee with PSE braving it for the company annual group photo. 

I felt really good about that shoot. I’m still not sure what made me ask about PSE that day but I made that guy’s day, maybe his week and it felt really good. It felt right. It also made me even more attentive to client’s needs than I already try to be. Adjusting to our client’s needs isn’t a chore or a burden. It is rewarding in a way that transcended how great the image turned out. It also emphasized the importance and the need to have the right gear for the right job. We can brag all we want about how good we are but if you don’t have the proper tools you’re just not going to get your shot. As a photographer (a really good photographer), you may be able to get your image but you may struggle more or it will simply be not be as good as it could have been. 

Even right this very minute I’m looking at the picture of that employee front and center of that group shot. I can always think back on how that all unfolded. I can take comfort and pride in the fact that I did the right thing. But it wasn’t just doing the right thing per se; it was the look on his face in the front row of the group photo. It said, I do not have a disability. It said I can get up front like everyone else and not be afraid. It said, I can take comfort in the fact I will not be embarrassed or scorned or laughed at. 

This particular photo shoot was profoundly inspirational for me. I read up even more on PSE and personally deduced it to be more of a nuisance than anything else. I'm sure most people that have it would say they're fine and that they just find it irritating. Yet, depending on its severity it can have a pronounced influence on how people live their lives. I was not about to deny this guy his spot on the front row because I wanted an easier shot. He strongly wanted to be apart of this group photo. Otherwise, he would never have had to courage to approach me and ask about the strobes thereby admitting his disability. This was only one example but we should all find the courage to be as accommodating as we can because that 10 seconds of adjusting my settings and having a genuinely frank and caring conversation with a client made me a much better photographer and quite frankly a much more attentive and understand person.